How Pre-Marital Counselling Sets You Up for a Stronger, Happier Marriage 

Finding the person you want to spend your life with is an incredible feeling. Deciding to get married can be like the cherry on top, but you still need to stay grounded in reality. Marriage is wonderful, but it’s not always easy, and there are bound to be bumps in the road. For these and other reasons, couples often sign up for pre-marital counselling, which experts say sets you up for a stronger, happier marriage. But is that true? 

Let’s take an in-depth look at the many benefits of pre-marital counselling.

Enhance Your Communication Skills

Enjoying the ideal marriage doesn’t happen by accident; it takes hard work. Marriage counsellors will tell you that communication is the cornerstone of a healthy marriage. When a couple stops communicating, issues often start to arise. Both people need to feel safe speaking their minds and being honest with each other. Totally open communication is usually much easier said than done, especially if you’ve never taken the time to hone this skill.

Arguments can arise from various factors, including miscommunication. Things as simple as the tone of voice or the specific words used can ignite an argument. Before you know it, the two of you are raising your voices and the conversation is going nowhere quickly.

For this reason, the main objective of pre-marital counselling is enhancing communication skills. Improved communication skills benefit not just your marriage but your life in general. 

Break Down the Walls and Get to Know Each Other More Deeply

When you marry someone, you may feel that you know everything about that person. In reality, this isn’t likely true. It’s quite difficult to know everything about someone, and their opinions, ideas, and preferences can change over time. Pre-marital counselling emphasizes the need to open up with each other on a deeper level. This isn’t something you do once and never think about it again. Opening up to each other is an ongoing process, and sometimes difficult and even scary. 

There’s a good chance the thoughts and ideas you have when you first get married will change over time. Things such as becoming a homeowner, parent, or retiree will all cause you to look at life a little differently. Discussing these changes ensures a solid bond with your partner.

Start Building the Foundation Before You Walk Down the Aisle

Pre-marital counselling can open your eyes to what it takes to build a healthy foundation. It’s worth asking yourself some deep questions. Why are you getting married? What makes you special to each other? What are your hopes and dreams? The answers to these questions will act as the foundation of the relationship. This is also a great way to make sure you’re on the same page as your partner. Finding the perfect spouse is a journey—it’s not as simple as just logging onto an entertainment site, where players will find the perfect game relatively easily, and moving on. You need to work hard to be compatible and overcome the challenges as you build a relationship foundation. 

Disagreeing With Each Other Is Healthy and Normal

Couples don’t usually enjoy arguing with each other, so it’s common for them to ignore conversations that may lead to a fight. If there’s no yelling and disagreeing, it must mean the marriage is healthy and strong, right? Well, that’s not exactly true. Disagreeing with your partner is a normal part of life. You are unique individuals, so there’s no reason you should agree on everything. It’s not even a matter of who is wrong and who is right; it’s about how the two of you resolve an argument. And sometimes that means you just need to respectfully agree to disagree.

Brushing feelings and issues under the rug and hoping they don’t come up again is asking for trouble down the road. Disagreements and fights don’t mean a lack of love. It also doesn’t mean there’s something wrong with your relationship. 

A good tip to use if you feel like a conversation is heading towards an argument is to hit the pause button. This is exactly the sort of thing that pre-marital counselling can help you with. You may need to put a pin in the conversation and come back to it when each of you has calmed down. If you’re both feeling emotional, angry, and frustrated, it’s hard to agree. When the two of you have clearer heads, you’ll have a much better and more productive conversation. 

A Reminder That Counselling May Be Needed at Various Points in Life

Another important lesson that pre-marital counselling teaches couples is that therapy shouldn’t be a one-time thing. Marriage counselling can be needed at various stages in life to help you keep the lines of communication open and respectful. Even if you think things are going great, it doesn’t hurt to attend a therapy session now and then. It is much easier to deal with issues when they first arise, instead of letting them get out of hand.

Some of the most common signs that indicate it’s time to book a marriage counselling session include:

• A major life change or event occurs.
• There is an erosion of trust by you and/or your partner.
• You’re experiencing financial pressures and issues.
• You notice that you or your partner is withdrawing.
• You feel yourselves growing apart.

Marriage Is a Lifetime Commitment That’s Worth the Effort

Promising to spend your life with someone isn’t something you should take lightly. When you say your vows, you are promising to be there for each other through thick and thin. Life can throw a lot at you and get pretty difficult at times, but pre-marital counselling can provide you with the insight, tools, and know-how that you need to weather the challenges.